I never installed Windows 95, but I’d imagine it would be something like this.

This morning I recalled a memory involving my younger brother, who to the world is an overachiever but privately despises his family and works psychological warfare on my mother’s dependence and my father’s willful blindness as long as my brother succeeds academically.

When we were younger, one winter day my brother and I were walking home from elementary school. Upon approaching our home in the cul-de-sac he noticed a group of neighbourhood children building a snowman. My brother walked over and as they were greeting him he commenced kicking and destroying the efforts of their creation. He had done this without provocation and continued even as the other children asked him, “why?”

The answer, of course, is that some men just want to watch the world burn.

A dismantling of your three top support groups:

Black Friday

Meh. Better deals online.

Buy Nothing Day

Get a job, you hippie.

Buy Local Day

Good idea. Support the businesses that hire the majority of the locals! Target, Wal-Mart, etc. employ hundreds of locals!

I’m only teasing. On a more serious note, aren’t you concerned that many of the local small businesses sell the same Made in China stuff but at a higher price? Seems like the only small, truly local businesses I can support are restaurants and bars.